SHERMIE "THUFF ENUFF" THUFF
Fourteen-year-old SHERMIE THUFF wants to be the fastest, richest, most famous competitive eater in the world—all he has to do is eat 53-3/4 hot dogs (and buns!) in 12 minutes. Impossible? Not if you're a Big Guy like Shermie. And Shermie's got The Will . . . he just needs to figure out The Way. Luckily, his two best friends, Lucy and Gardo, are experts at making things happen. With their coaching, Shermie is pounding down the hot dogs, stuffing in the ice cream, and mapping the stars looking for proof that he's meant to be a superstar. Oh, he's also waking at the crack of dawn to run off everything he ate. And he's wearing a trash bag while he's does that, and spitting in Dixie cups and eating only lettuce and doing whatever else Gardo says he needs to do to lose the "Fat Belt" that could keep him from Top Dog ranking on the eating circuit. Stuffing his face and starving himself? Maybe being a star athlete isn't quite what Shermie imagined....
Edgardo Esperaldo knows that the secret to being a superstar athlete is more than just being good at sports. You gotta have an image. Just ask Magic Johnson, or Air Jordan, or Hulk Hogan. If you want to stand out in sports, you have to make yourself stand out. By the time Gardo gets done creating the Legend of Shermie "Thuff Enuff" Thuff, his best friend will be the packaged for greatness. Watch out, Thuff Enuff, the licensing deals will be falling out of the sky! Thuff! Thuff! Thuff! |
The sky is the limit . . . as long as you consult the stars, first. Shermie's best friend Lucy is the queen of astrology charts. And every other kind of chart, for that matter. A Cancer with Virgo rising hard, Lucy is the prefect coach to strategize Shermie's quest for fame. Training schedules, wet bun techniques, jaw strength drills, water expansion exercises . . . Lucy plots it all. So why is Shermine adding Gardo as a coach? Will there be trouble in the trenches? |
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Being famous for shooting Tater Tots out of your nose may not be the kind of fame Shermie dreams of, but it works for Linus "Tater" Tate. This guy knows everyone and everything...even stuff no one is supposed to know. What else does Tater have up his nostril, er, sleeve? |
The crowd at Shermie's lunch table gets bigger and bigger as word of his hot dog prowess spreads. But are the new guys really his friends . . . or do they want fame as much as he does? |
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Science gets a wild twist in the hands of science teacher Maureen "Mad Max" Maxwell. Forget counting punnett squares and ploting results on graphs. In Mad Max's class, Lab Day means dropping ketchup-filled balloons from the roof, setting potato chips on fire, or growing throw-up in red Jell-O. Even the Periodic Table is fun with Mad Max at the head of the class. So why does Principal Culwicki think she's so dangerous? |
No one can stand Shane Hunt or his stooges, big dumb twins Wayne and Blayne Finn. They're bullies. They're jerks. They trash the underclassmen—literally. So why are they the most popular kids in school? Maybe Shane and the Finns aren't so dumb after all. |
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Evil lurks in the halls of Del Heiny Jr High #13—and it carries a mustard squirter. At least, that's how Principal Culwicki sees the mysterious leader of the Mustard Rebellion. The students see The Mustard Tagger as a hero. They've had enough of the Del Heiny Ketchup Company's sponsorship of their school—the school colors were changed to red and red, everything in the cafeteria must be kethcup-dunkable, the entire school is painted red, their mascot was even changed to the Proud Plum Tomato. Enough! The kids are more than ready to reject Del Heiny Ketchup. And what's the opposite of ketchup? Mustard, of course! Go, Mustard! |
Principal Cyrus Culwicki and his team of maniacal janitors already have their hands full with the students of Del Heiny Jr 13. But when Del Heiny Ketchup Company threatens to cut school funding because of the Mustard Rebellion, the staff cranks up the heat . . . and The Mustard Tagger won't be the only one who gets burned. |
GARDO
LUCY
TATER 
THE GUYS 
MAD MAX
SHANE, WAYNE, AND BLAYNE 
"THE MUSTARD TAGGER" 
DEL HEINY JR HIGH #13 STAFF
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